Wednesday, November 04, 2015

Bitch Face

I've been seeing things online about "Bitch Face" for a while now.  Maybe not as much now but it's still a prevalent common term and it irks me.  *Psst, if you're offended by the title, chances are you'll be offended by what's written below.  Just sayin'.

Well, I want to say that that's fucked up! [Rant Commencing...NOW - or you can skip straight to the last line because it's another LONG RANT]

For one thing, I'm usually a happy person, or at least I try to by on the outside because that's what people fuckin' expect out of women.  It be happy and delightful to look at.

See?!  Don't I look mother fuckin' happy here?  I should because I'm usually wearing a smile because it's part of my programming.

Don't I look happy here?  Of course I do!  You know why?  Because I'm laughing my ass off at this girl!


Take a good look at the picture.  We're at an Owl Cafe where you buy a $12 drink and you get to touch owls that sport their own bitch faces.

You can imagine our surprise when we went there and the work (girl with eye patch) greets us and welcomes us to the Owl Cafe (Only in Japan).

We just about lost it and if you don't even crack a smile at that coincidence, then you're dead inside as well.  (Granted we don't KNOW what happened but I'd like to think it was occupational hazard related)

Am I mean spirited and cruel for laughing at another person's misfortune and misery.  Perhaps.  So maybe being a bitch allows me to have a bitch face.  I don't know!

This girl is still at work and has to be "On" all the time or show everyone her tatemae - her outward ward self.  I can guarantee you when she get's home, that honne or inner self if far from that smiling persona.

Getting me back to my rant.

That's my, 'Just look at what I have to deal with' face.  A bit of a bitch face but not the worst.

My 'WTF is up with my melon 'soft cream'?!' face.  A bit miffed but still not as bitchy.

Me hoarding my senbei and visually telling those shika 'BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY SHIT!' Bitch face.
Now we're hitting getting closer to actual Bitch Face mode.

This is my, 'I'm busy doing shit.  Why the fuck are you takin' my picture' Bitch Face.
It's the raised eye brows and tight lips that make it pretty Bitchy

Those last two photos are my, 'the fuck you jus' say to me?!' Bitch Face and "Yeah...that's what I thought, fucker!" look.

Where am I going with this?  I can subtitle anything I want and make anything bitchy if I wanted to.  I don't even remember the original context of these expression when these photos were taken but add those little subtitles, and BAM!  Instant Bitch Face Pic! (Actually the owl and the deer ones are captioned exactly the way I wrote them.  I'll tell the owl story later but the deer in Nara are greedy bastards!)

I like to swear a lot and I normally apologize for it in the beginning of my blog because of 'other people's sensitivities' but I really don't care.  If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that I do swear occasionally but should I excuse myself?  

I don't think so.

If you don't like me swearing, too fuckin' bad!  I've been swearing since the 3rd grade and I know there's a time and place to use restraint, like when I'm with family and certain friends but honestly, my blog shouldn't have to be one of them.  

Let me just say, I can't have a fuckin' smile on my face all the time!  I'd be the fuckin' Joker if that were the case and he was a happy mofo, wasn't he?

No, I'm not ranting because I'm hormonal or on my rag.  Go fuck yourself!  I feel that women have to always be happy go lucky and chipper and if we're not, then people say, "oh, it must be her time of month" or "she's being hormonal today" or any other fuckin' euphemism.  What if I'm just tired and I don't feel like smiling.  What if I am pissed or angry about something?  Does that make me a bitch for having an emotion other than being happy go lucky?  Can't I have other emotions?

There are moments when I let my guard down and I'll not smile, I'll be quiet, or contemplative.  Yeah, I have a Bitch Face when I think sometimes because sometimes my mind and memory goes to unhealthy and unhappy places.  What of it?  There are times when I feel like I have to always be guarded by putting on a smile and because I have a perpetual happy expression and when it's not pasted on, people think something is wrong.  Well, no, I'm probably just tired so I don't have the energy to keep up the pretenses.

More examples of Bitch Face.

Let's look at people in the media:

People say that she has a Bitch Face all the time.  They also say she's frigid and cold hearted and a bunch of other mean nasty shit.

But you know what?

Pretty true.  Are we really that focused on how she looks rather than effectiveness.  I can think of another woman that wasn't portrayed as being cold and always pleasant to look at.  

Yeah, she was easy on the eyes, but look what they said about her! Not that it isn't true, but it almost seems you have to choose between Bitch Face or being an Airhead.

Men are allowed to fuckin' have Bitch Faces.  Look at his and yes...there is a meme.

He's getting called out for his Bitch Face because he upsets many people

But if you look up Bitch Face Obama, I'll give you two guesses what gender comes up first and foremost.  I'm sorry.  Is the First Lady expected to also always have a smile on her face as well.  It's okay for our Commander in Chief to have a 'stern' or 'upset' expression but the First Lady get called for a having a 'Bitch Face...?"  

Am I missing something here?

I guess another thing to consider is we are part of a generation where you can take a billion pictures on your phone or capture an infinite amount on your SD Card, you do get the occasional Bitch Face.  Not like when people had to use film and wait for the opportune moment or photo op allotted time for journalist/photographers to get a their front cover shot.  

Not anymore.

Those days are gone.  Now, any Joe Schmo can pick up a device and capture anything and everything if their heart so desires and become paparazzi and share their photos on the internet.  There's no finesse to this anymore and anything goes.

Why all this talk about Bitch Face?
Well, I want to talk about how we - not just women, but men are included in this as well - are expected to be happy and keep everything to ourselves.  You cannot express yourself because it's unprofessional, it's immature, it's not what you're supposed to do!  Why is it that men can be stoic, and angry and complete jerks, yet it's okay?  If they are very headstrong and uncompromising, it's because they have strong character.  If women have those same qualities - which we have to have sometimes just to get ahead - they're consider a bitch.  What gives with this double standard?

How am I supposed to act then?

This is a great pic on showing how much emphasis they put on Joy.  Boo!

I've heard many people rave about the Disney movie Inside Out and I feel like maybe there was a memo that I missed with this movie.  I hated it mainly because of Joy.  Am I supposed to be like her and pretend everything is okay until she fixes it all.  She wanted everything to be happy go lucky all the time and in my book, that's a great way to have a fuckin' nervous breakdown.  I thought that movie was encouraging repressing your emotions because that's what we're all taught to do in our society.  We don't have emotions and the only ones that we are allowed to have are Joy and Sadness according to the movie.  Anger doesn't register nor does Disgust or Fear.  In fact, the lack of range of emotions in this movie was rather laughable.  Sure you may say, it's only about 2 hours.  You can't cover all of those aspects.  I'm sorry but for all the research they claimed to have done, it seems like they skimmed off the top and spat out a movie those meager bits.  No offense but if you're not going to do a good job and really tackle this behemoth of a topic, don't even bother!

So Joy's in charge?  I'm sorry, but...No.  It doesn't work that way and would you believe that 1 in 5 Americans experience mental illness in a given year?  If you don't think repressed emotions or stress contribute to that number then you can just say I'm blowing smoke up your ass and be done with it.  Maybe I'm the only one that feels that way about emotions and Disney's horrible portrayal of what a healthy mind should be like.  

Actually, no.  I'm not the only one that thought this movie sucked. I'm appalled by the main premise of this movie and just like the movie implied with certain memories - in this case, a bad one, it'll go into my forgotten memory compartment and good riddance to that load of crap!

Along the lines of suppressed emotions, I have to say suppressing what you really want in life is also another huge stress for people.  I find myself fretting about what other people think about me too often and now I'm starting to learn I really shouldn't give a shit!  It's taken me 30 years to really know what I want and go for it.  I'm at that point where I don't really care what's expected of me anymore.  I'm tired of caring about what expectations were laid out for me by family, friends and peers and I just want to say, 'FUCK IT!' and do my own shit.


How many times have we second guessed an action because we were concerned with what others think.  If their opinion mattered so much, you would be talking this through with that person(s) and if you don't see eye to eye, you'll come to a compromise.  If not, well, that's for you to figure out.  There's a certain point where you just have to do what you or those closest to you want to do and say who gives a shit about the masses!  They are not the ones that will pick you up after you've been at your lowest point in your life.  No, they will most likely offer you safe and hallow platitudes that do nothing for you or your situation but make them feel better about imparting their infinite wisdom upon you.  Go fuck yourself!  If they really care, they'll tell you straight and really listen to what you are saying, not just waiting for a turn to be heard.

You'll be laughed at for being precise or picky or knowing what you want but can you blame me?  I've let people take the reins for things before and unsatisfied because I didn't speak up or I was afraid to hurt someone else's feelings.  Well, what about your feelings or choices?  Don't they count?  You'll grow thicker skin over time and realize, 'fuck yeah, my opinion counts!'  GFY if you think they don't!

Moral of this rant at 2:30 am:
1) Yeah, I have a Bitch Face!  What to make something of it?!  And, NO, I'm not fuckin' happy 24/7 and I will not hide it because it makes you uncomfortable.  GFY!
2) Why is it that it's okay for men to be angry or upset and but women have Bitch Faces.  GFY!  We need to change that stigma because it's sexist and very unrealistic to chastise one gender and not the other for making you uncomfortable.
3) Everyone should be happy all the time!  Sure, if you're fuckin' psycho!  The more people recognize and realize their emotions and what they want, the happier they will be.  Suppression doesn't do anything but hold off the inevitable blow up.  This applies to sexual tension as well.  Just sayin' and I'm sure have a lovely visual now.
4) Who gives a fuck what everyone else expect from you or wants from you.  Do want you feel best and I'm sure you'll be happy.  Just tell everyone else to Go Fuck Themselves (GFY!).  I know I feel better when I tell people that.

Found this on FB today.  I rest my case.  The bottom one doesn't look like anything but again, thank you for the fucker that is perpetuating that we always have to look pretty for the world all the fuckin' time!  

Maybe fucker will do a meme of Bitch Face for women giving birth.  Remember that scene in Knocked up when someone comes in with a camera and you see this?  Yeah? Can you blame her?  If you said yes, go fuck yourself.

So, if you see me or anyone else with a Bitch Face, don't judge and just go about your day as though you didn't see it at all because really, it's none of your fuckin' business and maybe it is you and not them.
Just sayin'.