Thursday, June 09, 2016

Rant about Rape Culture Around the World

Yeah, Brock Allen Turner is a rapist without remorse

Let me just start of by saying this is a rant so if you don't want to read me ranting, don't.

There's been a buzz about the this guy, Brock Allen Turner after he was leniently sentenced to jail for 6 months.

Yes, I'm upset about the judges ruling not only for his sympathies towards Turner, but many societies and cultures blase look at rape and assault towards women.

Reading the victim's statement was hard to read through because many women can empathize with her frank vulnerability and anger at what had happened to her and her loved ones during this trial that is obviously backed by Turner's money and the judges bias.  To be let off so leniently with 6 months in jail when 12 jurors unanimously found him guilty on 3 counts of sexual assault : "assault with the intent to commit rape, sexual penetration with a foreign object of an intoxicated person and sexual penetration with a foreign object of an unconscious person".

There is definitely something wrong with our society when a judge will cut his sentence short because he "A prison sentence will have a severe impact on him" is pretty fucked up when not considering what his victim went through all the while.  After reading about Turner's father and how he tries to make his son seem human despite his son's monstrous act, I can't help but feel 'why are you defending his actions?'  People will say, as a father, he sees only the good in his son and whatnot but there comes a point where your kid fucks up so bad, there is no going back and you DO NOT support them.  He's not the innocent one and actually ruined this young woman's life by raping her, which people are not getting.

I view rape on the same scale as murder because granted, you've not killed the person but you've taken the life the victim would have had away from them forever, and changing its irreparably.  Don't believe me, read the victim's statement.  If not that, read other victims comments in various articles relating to this case and how they relate and feel exactly as she does - their lives forever changed.  One such commented that she is 58 and it happened to her over 30 years ago and she is still affected after all these years.

It doesn't go away folks.

This type of assault does rear its head back when you least expect it.  Victims may not even be talking or thinking about that horrific event but something minute like a touch or a train of thought can trigger the painful memory and no matter how they try to bury it deep down to be forgotten, it never is and it's always there.

1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men are raped at some point in their life in the US.  That stat is from the CDC in 2012, a bit old, but I guarantee you that number hasn't changed much in the past 4 years.  Though more women are getting assaulted when compared to men, it happens to both genders and the numbers may not be accurate because a lot of victims do not report it but it gives you an idea about how prevalent these things happen.

The reason this number hasn't changed is because there is an underlying rape culture within our and many other societies in the world today.

You'll hear stupid things like :

  1. They had it coming to them because ___insert any fucking inane reason___
  2. It's our culture/it's been done for generations - I will get back to this one
  3. I thought they meant yes because __insert fucked up excuse__
You name it, it's been said but bottom line, there is no excuse for such behavior.  


If people actually think there is ever an excuse for such deplorable behavior, it's because they are raised with a fucked up sense of values and our society doesn't help to change.

Now, let's go back for #2 on that list above

This is the most disturbing thing I've heard perpetuated in this day and age and it's barbaric.  Like Romulus and his army raping the Sabine women that formed Rome back in the day barbaric but a lot of the older generation encourage it as well as use the old adage, "It's tradition."  Someone may say, oh, but that's someone's culture and tradition but I don't care.

It's fucked up, is what it is.

There are many stories about how women are kidnapped and married off against their will and that's that!  WTF?!  It's a version of Stockholm.  Some of these women don't want to get married and it's okay for a man to come and take her away from her family and the life she already knew because a guy likes her enough.  Women kill themselves after being subjected to this.  I don't care how far this tradition goes back, there is a reason that certain traditions die off and I'm quite shocked that this is still prevalent.

(at this point, I lost my first draft and so I had to rewrite most everything below here but my rant mellowed out and was directed at how shitty Blogger was for losing half of my blog.  Oh well :P)

Recently in the news, there has been work about another story of kidnap and rape happening.

The Chibok girls kidnapped by the Boko Haram are an example of kidnap and forced marriage and conversion in faith.  Many of these girls have stockholm syndrom and children that resulted from these forced marriages (they had a choice of marriage or slavery - and by choice, I mean not a choice).  The sad thing is, some girls that have been found or saved are now being condemned and shunned when they return home over a circumstance that was completely out of their control over two years ago.

It's disheartening that their community also doesn't see that these women - girls when they were kidnapped - were forced to into a horrible situation and are not consider them to be victims.  Here is another example of perpetuating rape culture because they are blaming the girls when it was no fault of their own that they were kidnapped and often times raped before they were found.  TV in general portrays aggressive and non-consensual behavior as though it's normal and intimidation is common place.  Some will call it sexual tension but if you think about being the person assaulted in real life, wouldn't you feel intimidated or scared or angry that someone is blocking, pushing/pulling you as you walk away, or kissing you suddenly without consent or even touching.  It sends the viewer the wrong messaging that it's appealing to reach or be treated this way when it's anything but.

I think there needs to be a bit change in how everyone addresses the sexual assault and rape the same time they start warning kids about talking to strangers and saying not to drugs and alcohol.  For the many that think it's better to shelter their kids and not talk about it, when they finally do decide to broach the subject, it's already too late as media and everything else has already influenced your kid.  Another thing to consider is that many kids out there have already been sexually assaulted or raped and don't know what to about the situation because it's never been discussed before.  Kids may not know what happened to them until later in life they realized that someone violated them and the damage is already done.

Kids should be aware that what they see in the media is not reality.  They are very impressionable at a young yet if we don't teach them about what they really see, they are bound to try and impersonate what they see.
Another big thing our society needs to do to fix this culture of rape is to recognize who is the victim and support them, rather than shame them and exile them.  Too often, victims feel ashamed about something that was not their choice and are stigmatized negatively because that's what society does.  Many times, the same gender is the worse culprit of misplaced blame when really they should be offering help in any way or form.  I cannot stress this enough because with out support, these incidence will perpetually happen and the victims will continue to be marginalized when they are the ones in need the most after a traumatic event.

And if you're confused or think talking about consent to children is too heavy a subject to talk about consider this video as it aptly describes consent v. non-consent.

Let's shed some light on these issues and stop hoping they will go away one day, because they won't without change.